


What we may be

by GaiusTheGenius



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Demisexual Character, M/M, this fic is one half dialogue and then one half kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 11:36:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiusTheGenius/pseuds/GaiusTheGenius
Summary: “Josten’s feeling like there’s not enough exy in our relationship,” Andrew drawled (Neil supressed a grin at hearing Andrew use the word relationship), “and I’m willing to overlook the stickball obsession if you’re interested.”“What he’s saying,” Neil jumped in, rolling his eyes at Andrew, “is that we’re both interested, if you are.”





	What we may be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PalmettoFoxDen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalmettoFoxDen/gifts).



> Title from Shakespeare  
> "We know what we are, but not what we may be"

“You know,” Neil said, stretching out a foot to rest in Andrew’s lap, bridging the admittedly small gap between their bean bags, “when Renee first told me you were gay, I assumed you were with Kevin.”

Andrew slid his eyes over to Neil’s but didn’t otherwise move. He stared at Neil for a moment before turning his attention back to his book. Neil, however, wasn’t giving up that easily. He thought back to his first few months with the Foxes, and the observations that he had made, and thought some more about his careful observations in more recent weeks.

“It was a fair assumption, though, if you think about it,” he continued, carefully watching for Andrew’s reactions. “And, okay, I don’t necessarily see things - or people - in that way, but Nicky tells me that Kevin is particularly desirable, you know, sexually, so-“

Andrew huffed, then, and Neil cut off, eyebrows raised, waiting.

“Kevin’s attractive until he opens his mouth,” Andrew said, eyes still on his book but not moving, betraying how much attention Andrew was giving the conversation. “Then I just want to kill him.”

Neil sat for a minute, taking in Andrew’s stillness and thinking. “You mean like how you want to kill me?” He asked quietly. Andrew’s fingers tightened minutely around Neil’s ankle.

“Neil.” Andrew’s voice was quiet. Neil felt himself smile at his name and forced himself to take a deep breath. This was _important_ and he couldn’t get distracted. He listened as Andrew continued: “Why are you- “ Andrew looked up at Neil, searching his face, “Is it too much?” he asked, his voice hard. “Are you saying that I should find someone else to- Are you saying no?”

Neil, considering himself by now to be fairly practised at reading Andrew, saw the danger with faint alarm; the rise of the self-loathing that was always far too quick to appear. _One day_ , he thought, _he is going to believe me when I say that it is always yes with him_.

“Drew.” He dug his foot a little firmer into Andrew’s lap, using the already-permitted contact to hold him in place. “I’m not trying to pass you off onto Kevin, or anything like that. I’m asking if you want to _include_ Kevin in what we have, sometimes.”

Andrew was turned to face him properly, now, both of his hands on Neil’s calf and his eyes boring into Neil’s as though trying to see inside his head. “Abram,” he said, warningly. Neil raised his eyebrows, the question repeated on his face. Andrew frowned, and Neil very carefully kept the smile off his face at the sight of the expression on Andrew’s. “Why?” Andrew asked eventually, not quite as harshly as he probably meant to. “I don’t need- I don’t understand you,” he  said, “You don’t swing; you don’t _see people in that way_ , you needed _Nicky_ to tell you that Kevin was attractive, I don’t need you to be a fucking martyr again, I don’t need _anything_ -“

“Drew.” Neil’s voice cut off Andrew’s rambling rant; Andrew’s eyes snapped back to Neil’s and narrowed at the small smile they found there. “You said you found Kevin attractive until he started talking.” Neil frowned slightly, working through what he wanted to say. It was so _hard_ to put into words, to explain how he _didn’t_ swing, not really, but he still had a swing set and sometimes he thought that certain people, like Andrew, might sometimes be able to give him a push. He snorted softly at himself, at the metaphor taken too far, but quickly smoothed his face again and spoke seriously, willing Andrew to understand.

“You say you found – _find_ – Kevin attractive until he starts talking – I’m guessing about exy – but I-“ He paused to check through once again what he was about to say, rehearsing the words, determined to be understood. “It’s like the opposite for me. Kevin’s just a person, right? Just a body, like with limbs and – whatever – and what’s the big deal, right? I look at him just the same as I would at anyone else and it’s not a yes _or_ a no, it’s like a _whatever_. It doesn’t even register as a _question_. But then when he is talking about exy, or at practise with us, I look at him and I see _Kevin_ , and that’s different, and then - then, if you want, it could be a yes. For both of you – for the three of us. Sometimes.”

Andrew was staring at him.

“Obviously, we’ll have to ask him; this might all be for nothing,” Neil said, quietly. “But I’ve been watching him – and you – for a while, and I’m pretty sure that we would have a chance. Andrew. Yes or no?”

***

They decided to broach the idea with Kevin after their late practise, with the knowledge that Kevin would be as relaxed as he ever got having sated his need for exy, and that the rest of the team would be asleep – or at least inside – at the dorms. Kevin was finishing up in the locker room. Neil was waiting with Andrew in the team lounge, not sitting on the couch but leaning against the back of it, facing the door. Neil could feel the restrained tension in the lines of Andrew’s body as he stood next to him.

“Drew.” He shifted, turning his body to face Andrew. “Drew, if you don’t want to-“

Andrew kept his eyes on the door where Kevin would join them. “It’s still a yes.”

Neil eyed Andrew’s profile until Andrew turned his head to meet his eyes. Neil smiled at him. “What about with me, now?” He asked. “Yes or no?”

Andrew reached out to squeeze the back of Neil’s neck, pulling him closer. As their lips met, Neil allowed Andrew to step further into his space, pushing him slightly more into the back of the couch so that his back curved slightly. His hands came to brace himself on the back of the couch to avoid touching, even as he pushed forward into the kiss. It was then, as Andrew’s other hand curled around Neil’s hip, that Kevin clattered into the lounge and stopped, frozen in the doorway, eyes on the pair in front of him. Hearing Kevin’s entrance, Andrew turned away from Neil to meet Kevin’s eyes. Neil leaned around Andrew, whose hand was still on his hip, to see as well.

“Kevin,” he said, confident now that he had had this conversation once already and determined now that they were so close. “Did you know that when I first found out that Andrew was gay, I assumed that he was with you?”

Andrew huffed softly and Neil could almost feel him restraining the urge to roll his eyes. Kevin’s eyes darted between them, not saying a word.

“Based on what I saw, watching the two of you, which I did a lot, to be honest, it was a fair assumption,” Neil continued. “And it wasn’t only me: did you know, that Nicky felt the need to warn me away from you because you were already taken?” Andrew flicked a glance back at Neil then, having not heard that part before. “I guess that based on what _he_ saw, he figured that I was interested in you. And that,” Neil continued, eyes still on Kevin, “was a fair assumption, too.”

Kevin swallowed, and searched Andrew’s face for the expected anger, or jealousy, or violence. Andrew blinked at him. Kevin blinked rapidly and looked back to Neil.

“What are you saying?” He asked, his voice strange. He swallowed.

“Josten’s feeling like there’s not enough exy in our relationship,” Andrew drawled (Neil supressed a grin at hearing Andrew use the word _relationship_ ), “and I’m willing to overlook the stickball obsession if you’re interested.”

“What he’s saying,” Neil jumped in, rolling his eyes at Andrew, “is that we’re both interested, if you are.”

Kevin stared at them some more. “Take your time,” Andrew said, surprisingly (or not) serious. “Don’t say yes until you’re sure.” He turned back to Neil and pulled him back in by the back of the neck for another kiss, then snagged his keys from the couch and left for the car, leaving Neil to watch as Kevin stared after Andrew.

“Are you serious?” Kevin asked quietly. “You’re really both okay with- You really both want this? Me?”

“Yes, Kevin.” Neil stepped closer, and raised a hand to pull Kevin’s face around to meet his eye. “It’s not… conventional, I know. And I know you think it’s ‘easier’ to be straight in sports and I can tell you now that this is not going to be easy, especially not with our particular cocktail of issues. We’re taking things slowly, for Andrew, and I’m in no rush, and nothing will ever happen unless it’s a yes from all of us.”

Kevin nodded. “I get that,” he said, “and I believe that Andrew wouldn’t agree to anything that he wasn’t on board with. But, you said you didn’t swing, and then there was Andrew, and now me? Are _you_ sure?”

Neil smiled at Kevin. “Yeah,” he said. “You know, when I first got here, I used to watch you practise and I would think, _I want that_ , and all I could think about was how I wanted so badly to have what you had, not just the skill but the chance to play. And now, when I watch you, I think _I want that_ , but it’s not just about exy any more Kevin. It’s about _you_.”

Kevin blinked, his mouth twitched. “You could’ve just said yes,” he muttered.

Neil raised his hand to Kevin’s cheek again and met Kevin’s eyes steadily. “Yes,” he smiled, and pulled Kevin down, raising himself on his toes slightly as their lips met.

When Kevin and Neil left the stadium and joined Andrew in the car, Andrew raised his eyebrows at Kevin’s mussed hair and Neil’s smug grin. “I’m almost surprised you stopped at kissing,” he said as they slid into the car. “I know how excited you get about exy.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “Drive,” he said, buckling his belt.

***

Despite Kevin’s agreement, nothing else happened for another week, until Nicky dragged Aaron off to see a movie, having given up half way through asking Andrew to join them when Andrew simply stared blankly at him as he spoke.

Kevin was sitting at the desk, on his laptop; Andrew was on the couch with a tub of ice cream and Neil, perched on the arm of the couch beside Andrew, spoke up. “Kevin, didn’t you and Nicky tell me that I should never waste an empty dorm room?”

Kevin looked at him, eyes moving between Neil and Andrew, the question plain on his face. “I did,” he said slowly.

Neil turned to Andrew as well. “Yes or no?” He asked.

Andrew met his gaze steadily. “Go on then,” he replied neutrally, tilting his head. “But if either of you even thinks about exy I’m leaving.”

Kevin frowned slightly. “Aren’t you… joining in?”

“Not yet.”

It wasn’t a ‘no’, Neil thought, and he shot a smile at Andrew as he pushed himself away from the couch and moved so that he was standing over Kevin where he sat by the desk. He quirked an eyebrow at Kevin who, looking slightly less unsure in the face of Neil’s ease with the situation, started to stand to meet him. With a flash of inspiration, Neil stopped him with a hand to the chest and instead slid himself in to sit sideways on Kevin’s lap. He grinned at Kevin. “Well?” he asked.

Kevin threaded a hand through Neil’s hair and tugged him closer into a kiss as Neil reached up to grasp Kevin’s shoulders. Kevin made a soft noise into the kiss, and Neil smiled into Kevin’s mouth as he heard the rustle of the bean bag behind them. They broke the kiss and both turned to look up at Andrew, who was resting his weight on the back of Kevin’s chair, watching them. He laid a hand on the side of Kevin’s face and his thumb brushed once over the chess piece that marked Kevin’s cheekbone. Kevin’s breath shuddered in, out. Neil’s hand rubbed down Kevin’s arm, watching Andrew’s face.

“Yes or no, Kevin?” Andrew asked quietly.

“Yes.” Kevin’s reply was just as quiet, but his voice was steady. Andrew leaned down and captured his mouth, his hand still on Kevin’s cheek and the other coming across to land on Neil’s shoulder, putting his weight on Neil so that he could lean into Kevin more. As Neil watched, fascinated, he understood why Andrew had joined them so soon. Watching them kiss was breath-taking. Neil leaned his head against Kevin’s chest and smiled at them both, letting his hand move from Kevin’s arm to his chest and idly feeling his way along the muscles under Kevin’s shirt. With his other hand, he reached up and tangled his fingers with Andrew’s on his shoulder. Kevin’s neck was turned around to meet Andrew where he stood above them, and Neil found himself facing the juncture between neck and shoulder. He leaned in and kissed the skin there, softly at first and felt Kevin jolt slightly in response. _Again_ , he thought, and scraped his teeth slightly over the same spot. Kevin gasped into Andrew’s mouth and swore, his hand squeezing Neil’s thigh.

“Should’ve warned you before we started,” Andrew muttered. “about Josten’s neck fetish.” He moved his hand from Kevin’s face to Neil’s hair and tangled his fingers in it, tugging gently. With a quick, close-mouthed kiss to Kevin, Neil swung one of his legs over to the other side of the chair so that he was straddling Kevin, then allowed Andrew’s gentle hold on his hair to pull him up to standing. He leaned over Kevin to meet Andrew for a kiss. As he reflected idly on the differences between Andrew’s mouth and Kevin’s, Neil felt Kevin’s hands settle on his hips and his thumbs press in as Kevin watched them from below.

“Shirt off, Josten,” Andrew murmured into Neil’s mouth, and Neil paused for a moment, looking down at Kevin, who hadn’t yet seen the extent of the scarring covering Neil’s body. He could feel Andrew’s careful gaze watching him. “You too, Day,” Andrew said, still watching Neil for any signs of a ‘no’.

“What about you?” Kevin asked, leaning forwards in his chair to tug his shirt off and drop it to the floor beside him.

“Mine stays on today,” Andrew said. “Over the clothes touching only, and only above my waist.”  

Kevin nodded, and the fact of his easy acceptance, no questions asked, allowed Neil to take a deep breath in and tug his own shirt over his head and drop it on top of Kevin’s. Kevin’s unflinching gaze, which darted quickly over Neil’s chest before resting on his face and not lingering, even on the bullet wound or the iron burn, bolstered Neil’s confidence and he leaned down to kiss Kevin again in thanks. One of Andrew’s hands squeezed his neck as he did so, and he felt Kevin twitch as he received the same treatment from Andrew’s other hand.

“You need to move,” Andrew said drily. “We can’t all fit on that thing, it’ll collapse.”

Neil grinned, but Andrew cut him off. “One crack about my size, Abram, and you can stay in the fucking chair by yourself and it’ll just be Kevin and me on the couch.”

Neil huffed, still smiling, and held out a hand to pull Kevin to his feet as he stepped back to let him up. As they neared the couch, Andrew pushed Kevin down into it and straddled Kevin himself. Neil stood for a moment, strangely breathless himself as though it were him who was being kissed so thoroughly. Andrew paused and turned around, held out a hand to pull Neil down to Kevin’s side. Neil found himself torn, irrationally annoyed that he couldn’t kiss both of them at the same time. Andrew smirked at him. He reached out to Neil’s neck again and pulled him in, barely ghosting their lips together before he turned them both to Kevin. Kevin’s mouth opened to Neil’s as Andrew’s mouth moved to the side, and Kevin gasped into Neil’s mouth. “I don’t think-“ he said, leaning into Andrew’s mouth, “that Neil’s the only one with a neck fetish.” Andrew pulled back to glare at Kevin, and at Neil’s delighted expression.

“Good to have you on the team, Kevin,” Neil said, smiling smugly at Andrew.

“ _I’m_ not the one with the-“ Andrew started, more out of habit than anything.

Neil met Kevin’s eyes and raised an eyebrow. With the shared mind-set that was born of months of practise and teamwork on the court, they both leaned in to Andrew, who swore in a hissed breath as Neil and Kevin proceeded to show him exactly how much of neck fetish he had. Andrew’s hand gripped Neil’s thigh tightly, fingers digging in whenever he or Kevin grazed over a particularly sensitive spot, and Neil smiled into Andrew’s skin.  


End file.
